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  " Born to be real not to be perfect " tagboard
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Occasionally sometimes you would suddenly have an outburst of anger at me for nit much of a reason..only to find its wrong after that..do you actually know how I felt at this point of time? It is actually really heartbreaking.
I know you don't mean it but...at least only scold me for valid reasons not cause you just feel like it...
I hate quarrels you know that, and yet, you have to..can't we solve anything peacefully?
and everytime you say you would not do it anymore, yet you do it again and again
Whatever happened to the sweet, patient guy I used to know way back...now you don't even bother to pacify me or whatever anymore..just sleep it all away
Re-reading all our old conversations, laughing to myself at how rubbish we were last timeXD all the feels that time, like just purely love, no complications, no nothing Somehow it really made me realized that I probably couldn't love anyone else as much as you. Some people always say that first love never last, but i (we) will make this work, and this will be my first and last ever relationship I love you<3
笨蛋。哭够了吗?
I feel so stressed up, i can't think properly anymore, and this pretty much sucks Getting more and more angst each day, i never wanted to be like this Hate myself for how I am now..This isnt who i know i am Things are taking the worst turn at the time when I am most vulnerable Many things to worry right now, so much on my mind, when can they ever stop I want the carefree me back I want to have my smile back I want to laugh heartily once again I want to be worry-free I want to love more I want to care more I want to be kinder I want to be more successful.... But then, life is sucha bitch all you have to always do is to keep trying 
Kinda hurts..when all you want to do is just to take one day to spend with the person you love during CNY to go maybe visit his family side....but he took no initiative at all to even think of bringing me to see his family. Or even think of meeting me
My heart hurts so badly...i dont know why Maybe i kept it in for too long...or maybe it was all the expectations i have for you and disappointments i received instead.. I'm a girl, i want to be swept off my feet from time to time, I want to get surprises from time to time, I want a properly planned date by you from time to time... I never got it Or maybe i took you too much for granted.. I can see, how you always take the effort to send me home, to fetch me from work for our dates after i end work on the weekends...But, this suddenly felt like a necessity for you to do it... That you probably thought that you have given me enough not to do anything else more... But i need that..everyone needs that something more sometimes.. You never understood; The spark was disappearing out of our lives How much hints i have given you, even directly telling you..you said you noted it, but did you actually ever do it? Of all the promises you made, which one have you gave me so far? I dont like empty talks.. You told me not to compare other people's relationships with ours..but how can i not feel envious of some... 2013
2013 is finally coming to an end!Well...I didnt feel like i achieved anything much this year...and likely also the same for next year, But what had made me thankful for this year..... I have Someone, that botak boy, who loved me for who i am, and how i am, he have seen through my best, my worst and my craziest,loving me each and every moment he can, wherever he is, in Tekong, or at home, or with me, he is always so concern about me, i feel damn blessed that i could have met such a good fella...And i felt like i'm definitely loving him more each day^^ Sure he do have his flaws, but humans are not flawless, so, forgiven XD  I have Friends, whom i have met 3 years ago when we first started poly, and they became my closest bunch of friends whom i love and treasure, but you know, we do have our moments of stupid arguments which will never last for more than a day, and with all the stupid teasings here there everywhere! Keeping my life in poly so colourfulXD I never would have guessed that i can meet all these people in poly, cause i actually went in with the thought that poly ppl always make use of each other...hmmm..I glad i didnt meet any of these type ^^ I hope we will continue to be like this even after we graduate, cause you are one bunch of ppl i never want to lose  I have my Family, whom of course, hold the most dear to me. I have my brothers, and which we never fail to argue and fight each time we see each other......But only I can do that with them! If anyone outside tries to pick a fight with my brothers..i will make sure they wont see the daylight again! Anddddd of course, i have a pair of loving and supportive parents, who gives me everything they have with no complaints, who allows me to chase my own dream, who supports me in whatever i do, and never fail to encourage me whenever i'm down, and always loving me and my brothers. IDK what i did last life to get this amazing pair parents i dont mind having them again in the next life even if they are naggy!!XDD  Ahhh yessss, Family includes my cousins of course!! Which are also part of my Family but...Never they are listed separately XD They say cousins are like instant made best friends, which i must say its so trueeeeee~ Or maybe it's just this bunch i'm close toXD  I have also finally passed my Basics of Japanese!! After one year....it was pretty fruitful, and i definitely learnt alotXD Another achievement unlocked! I can finally speak in Japanese (though its damn bad but its still speaking ^^) andddd at least hold a basic conversation i guess :D And the most impt....I BOOKED MY AIRTIC TO JAPAN! I AM GOING TO JAPAN NEXT YEAR!! BANZAIIIII!!! I never thought I would actually go, after years and years of telling my parents that i want to go Japan, and I am finally going *tears of joy* Okay thats out of context but...hehe who cares! 3 more months before i can finally go to my dream country!^^ Okay, can't wait for 2014 to come, and i hope the next year will be even more amazing than this year:D Helllooo 2014,I'm coming for ya! xoxo
Ever felt like you are expecting something so much....it ended up as a disappointment once again? Yeah I just did... And I thought it was important. Stupid me
If every single time, i tell the truth and lost someone as a result..this just proves i should feel my life more with lies right? Since every single time, my honesty will turn into a bad intention... No one understands after all.
Let me be beside you always, Let me be someone you always think about Let me be the one to share all your joys, your laughters, your tears Let me be the only one who can annoy the hell out of you Let me be the one you will never ever give up on Let me be your only one forever... Although I never believed in forever, but I would believe it cause its you I will let you be the only one who will always be beside me I will let you be the only one who knows my deepest secrets I will let you be the only one who can see my tears I will only be yours cause, I love you 
Hate who i am.. i can never be like the rest who excel in one thing or another.. i cant excel in any shit at all, and definitely not helping for the mp im doing now this sucks.....
It has been 10days since you went in Tekong Exactly one week more before you finally come out... I miss you so much NS is unavoidable, but i never actually thought it will affect me this much also...I thought maybe if i pack my days with activities time will hopefully pass faster.. It's still too slow. I miss looking at my phone once every few minutes knowing you would reply me and we would chat the whole day, from day to night. I miss going out on dates with you. Now and then i would still look at my phone, knowing yoou wouldnt message me but i will still check anyway.Everything feels so silent. Yeah, you say i have other friends to msg and chat with, but its different okay..... You probably wouldnt know how i felt. Every night i will especially keep the phone close to me, just waiting for the moment you would msg or call me, for that 15mins or half an hour... Our conversations now can't even last for more than half an hour. I have so much things to tell you but you just can't hear it. Whenever you call me occasionally, i always just feel like crying whenever i hear your voice, i have to hold my tears back everytime..idk why... I guess i just miss you. Sorry if i sounded cold, i just feel so tired waiting.... Hurry come back, my piggy 
I think maybe...im getting alittle too demanding. I know it is bad, but I dont know how to stop. All I want is for you to give me your attention. But ofcourse you cant be there all the time, you have your commitments I have mine. I know you are always concern about me, but I hope you could show out that concern of yours amd not keep it silently to yourself..expect me to know that you care about me.... in the earlier times you would always voice out your concern for me, no matter how stubborn I am, you will always try to pacify me...these days... It just felt like you stopped trying... like sometimes I just say "Im unhappy" when I expect you to say more, you just say "oh dont be unhappy"... Sometimes I tell you about my other friends relationship, not cause im comparing you, I love you for who you are..i just think maybe you could learn something just like how im learning from the others,step by step on how to love a person better as well.. But of course not all the time, sometimes I just want to tell you about the incidents cause it is really sweet...and I feel like I can just tell you anything. Who else am I suppose to tell all these tl if it is not you? Cause everytime I tell my friends about something sweet this guy did for this girl, they will just go "Ask your boyfriend do also lor!" No one gets it that maybe I just want to say it out, I dont need any action similar to that couple as well.... I love all beautiful things, kind deeds and everything which will warm a person's(or only maybe mine own) heart, and I just feel the need to say it,give alittle credit to that person who did something nice to brighten up someone's day..is there anything wrong? Yeah maybe im a tough nut to handle.... I dont make senses in alot of things(even in this post) but I guess thats just me... But there's only a thing I will always and forever be clear of: I love you, my piggy, my love♥ 
Somehow, there are just some mornings where I just hoped to wake up, and seeing some really sweet text messages of yours.....which never happened..oh well It won't cause you are not that kind of romantic person anyway~ Though some of the things you do are really sweet... ♥ 
This year's birthday will be a memorable one definitely.... cried on the starting of my bday, cried during the last minutes of my bday....all for the same person.. Clock stroked 12, aug 9...I was hoping all along and eagerly waiting for your msg to wish me happy birthday....you didnt.. I was hoping more than just a Happy birthday!...maybe I love you or something..idk...but you didnt give me...im pretty hurt Morning..you came to look for me at home, I was really happy... you gave me the presents..I couldn't believe you just made a crystal castle for me, I love it alot, I was super touched...almost cried, tears of joy, but I thought..no no more tears for today...but I was so happy, I really am Night....11plus, close to 12...you were saying previously over dinner that its super late, later no mrt home...I told you to go home straight after,dont need send me home..when I was saying that, there is that little part of me hoped that you will insist on sending me home..you didn't.. On the train I was hoping and hoping ..maybe...you would want to spend more time with me like how I would want to spend more time with you...but..nah, you left with the rest to take train home...the train door closed..I started crying....stupid me, why am I crying? Im the idiot who said to go home...and also the idiot who contridicts her self and want you to send me home...im retarded arent I? I can't even put my feelings across..cause I have a stupid egoistic nature and cause I dont want to be lay off as spoiled... we quarrelled..on my bday, few mins after my bday....I cried nonstop...I stopped and begin again stupid girl, why are you so weak? I love you alot...thats why everything you do matters to me, all the good and bad..and everything you say, I remember every single one clearly.. Idk about you...but I sure hell love you a little more each day...every single day.. Happy Birthday to me
If I don't tell you my thoughts, show you the other side of me, who else should I show it to? Isn't cause you trust that particular person enough to let your every other side of personalities come out? If I were to treat you like how I treat my other friends,wouldn't you think of me as either being fake, cause I always keep laughing and smiling and living a carefree life,or just sickening cause no one could probably be so happy? At some points of time, I can be fragile, I can make alot of temper and noise....but no one sees it cause won't all of them leave me for acting like some spoilt princess? I trust you enough to show you what I think, what I love, what I hate....only cause i know you wouldn't despise me..or would you? I do admit I have a bad temper, but my friends know that too, so usually when I get alittle pissed off they would always try to cheer me up and make me laugh..No, no one in this world is so damn good tempered, even a good tempered person will have times they are not at their best temper.... Then again, maybe is my own fault, for showing too much..for trusting to much.. Am I getting too annoying and hatable? Are you getting sick of my ways and habits?
These few days have been tough on us both I'm really sorry for making you feel so insecure thanks to my actions and my words I have hurt you badly, yet, you are still sticking with me, you didnt let me go at all I appreciate that alot, i'm sorry for my temper.. I guess i should have tried to overlook all the matters instead of telling you, after all they are your family. Please have faith in me, don't always be insecure, i will never leave you.. all our quarrels and arguments and disagreements, we always get pass it don't we? I love you, always have,and always will 
No more crying so easily anymore, I will be stronger no matter what. Cause, no one will like anyone so weak. No more being so childish, its time to start thinking alittle more maturely, grow up, what am I doing still acting like a little kid/ princess? This reality is harsh, I will never be perfect
Seventh day of my grandma's passing. I guess (hoped)everyone had finally came to terms with it.. Last week was just filled with moodlessness, sadness, crying and more devastation. Someone so dear suddenly just out of the blue just..gone. And gosh my ahma was the healthiest ahma I have ever seen.. I guess thats life I will miss everything bout her, her laughters, her smile, how everytime she was so happy when we bring her out for dinner or when we visit her. When we were younger how she likes to buy especially my fav fruit, mangosteens, when she knows we are going to visit her. How usually she would shout when she was talking cause she is deaf and doesn't know she was actually shouting instead of talking..haha.. This year aug, she would have been at a ripe old age of 95...I still think that she would live till a 100..I guess life is really unpredictable I will miss you, my beloved grandma<3 19/6/2013
I miss you so much my heart hurts. What am I ever gonna do if you are not there for me next time?>< So don't ever leave me, thats my only wish  
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